knowing -- noticing

I am a witch. And so I know some things and I notice some things. Like I NOTICED the moon tonight. It looks just like the moon in Harold and the Purple Crayon. I also teach Kindergarten. And BECAUSE the moon looks like the moon in Harold and the Purple Crayon I KNOW that it is a waxing moon. BECAUSE the last time I NOTICED the moon it was smaller. So it must be waxing. I mentioned I'm a witches. Witches pay attention to things like this. Or, at least I do.

What does this mean? Well, it means that while the moon was waning I was busy dumping a lot of junk that I don't need anymore and that isn't working for me now. Now, while the moon is waxing I'm building new skills that will serve me better.
I did mention I'm a witch, right? Okay.
While the mmon was waxing I was sort of melting down myself. Some people call it an Alanon Slip. But, see, slips have a more serious meaning for me, so let's go with *episode*. Which is actually a very mild term for the emotional reaction that it is describing. But, I lack a better term. So, for now it will do. I spent several days mostly in tears. Why? Hmmm. Anger, frustration, powerlessness, fear. My brother had 5 arteries transplanted in his legs. He had no pulse in them. My mother drinks too. I know a solution. They don't want it. I can't make them. Yes, I am a witch. But, in my early days I learned that it is best not to mess with the will of others cause then ya get all tangled up in the webs ya weave and it gets ungly. Plus, it's just not very nice to go messin' with other people's stuff. Not to mention that it is very codependent. So, I had a melt down instead. Which was actually very useful to me. Cleared the way for much more useful behaviour. Cause I was thinkin' of getti' the family on the show *Intervention*. Yeah. Not.
So, now I'm going to Alanon and not quite so puffed up cause I got 18 years sober and I fucking WORKED the steps and all. Yeah, now I can listen more and I've even found a few resentments that were tucked away for 30 odd years waiting for their time to be resolved. It gets different.

My family annoys me greatly. But there ARE people who ask for my help and those people it is my duty to help. See, I owe a debt of love to the people who helped me get sober. And the only way to repay it is to pay it forward. A girl I know who went back out called me for help. So, we met at a meeting and stayed for the meeting, of course. I can't really express in words just how much pain it causes me when someone who has some time sober drinks again. But, we each have only today and without a Power greater than ourselves, that could be anyone of us. We have a *daily reprieve contingent on our spitiual condition*. And so, we talked. I asked simple self care questions. We talked more after the meeting. Lots of people talked to her. We all owe a debt we must pay forward.
While we were talking another woman's 4 year old son took a header and skinned up his whole face. He was oaky but bloody. We got him cleaned up but he was upset. I took her to get first aid cream and bandaides at the drug store. I let her son look at the pictures in my phone while we waited. It calmed him down. SOMEHOW he managed to change my phone service...he added a service I did not have. After I dropped them off at their home I got a text from Sprint telling me that my service change request had been confirmed. Yeah, yeah, I called and got it removed. I never saw him do it!! When did he do that?? How did he do that?? That'll teach me!

And to top it all off my dog needs remedial training. But she is doing well on the Cheese Whiz when we see a kid plan. (She is afraid of children, especially children on wheels.) And there is a daily practice of relaxation (for the dog). Her trainer says she needs *lightened up*. She is too dark. And this is not the most woo woo trainer in teh City of Pittsburgh. After eleven days we are on *Day Four* of the relaxation scheme. So it would seem that the dog is indeed a bit tense.
And she was consecrated as a magical tool (by accident) when she was much smaller and I could hold her in one hand. No wonder things are a little crazy. One of my magical tools is tense!

One Day At A Time Dear Daisy Dog.